RIKANOBELA: Awkward Turtle, Leave Your Shell!

Note: This is not a makeup related post, so if this isn’t your cup of tea, no worries! I understand. 🙂 This is a “Rikanobela” post, which means it’s a little piece of myself… which means this is going to go a little intimate. So yeah. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

I was raised by very strict parents. Every rule had to be followed, otherwise, my brother and I would get a detention. Playing with friends outside our house was permitted, but we had to be home when the clock struck 6. My childhood bestfriend, who is STILL my bestfriend up to this day, lived next to our old house. When our family moved, we couldn’t meet and we didn’t see each other for about 2 decades!

During those years, I met new friends and playmates, who were so much younger than I was. I couldn’t meet my classmates on weekends, so I only played with them at school. I became shyer and less social. I was actually the exact opposite of myself! It’s confusing, I know. What I meant was, I was timid, but when people got to know me, I was jolly and playful and talkative and noisy! 😀 I grew up with a strong personality, but surely had a gentle heart. (I’m sure! No kidding! :p )

prep-grad — *I smiled like this because I was shy of my big rabbit teeth!*

Then my teenage years passed and I became a young adult. I was both loved and hated. The crazy part was, the more they got to know me, the less friendly they became. It was either I was a difficult person to appreciate, or they were wrong for not knowing how to appreciate me. That’s why I became more hesitant to make friends. I kept myself inside my shell, and stuck myself with my small circle of true friends.

I am a person of quality, even before. I didn’t mind having few true friends. But this has kept me from going out and be friends with new ones. Every time I had the opportunity to build a new friendship, I got bombarded with “You talk a lot, do they even wanna talk with you?” by my other cynical self. I became scared of getting close to people only to end up getting stabbed in the back.

But ever since I decided to start my new account on Instagram (@cosmerix), and getting into a beauty group on Facebook called Beauty Bloggers Circle, I met new people, got connected with amazing and lovely women across the globe! I even got to meet some people from my own country who actually wanted to do a collab with me! However, since I was being an awkward turtle, we’re not really going to meet YET. We will next time, when I’m a hundred per cent ready! 😀 (We agreed on making a video with the same theme and just mention each other.)

I want to be as carefree as others, to feel more comfortable in a crowd of new friends. I want to stop being an awkward turtle, and to free my mind with negative thoughts.

I wanna come out of my shell and be the best that I can be.