Hey there! Hope you’re all safe despite the terrible weather. Yesterday was such a shizzy day and I felt like I needed to pour it out. So, yeah, as the title says it, Nope, this is not my ordinary blog post.

Yesterday’s thoughts start beyond this point:

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I don’t know where to start. I don’t even know if I should post this, but I truly want my blog to be as real and transparent as possible – at least to some extent. As much as possible, I’d love to spread positivity and happiness.

But sometimes, it’s also good to pour out some of the heavy shiz and make it less difficult to bear. So, please bear with me.

I am 32 and I’m just… Rika.

I’m not really gonna go into details, but today’s weather accurately reflects my feelings at the moment. (Hashtag: ATM) 

My Dementors really never left. I think it’s because I can barely conjure my Patronus even if I had it tattooed on my arm. The Patronus charm requires a strong, happy memory.

And I just can’t get myself to muster a single happy one.

If only life could at least be so kind and spare me one good reason to keep me going, or to at least make me think there’s still hope. A reason that can make me save myself from my Dementors. Just like when Harry conjured a full-fledged Patronus at the lake to save himself and Sirius (HPATPOA).

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Back to today, I had an equally shizzy day, which turned out even worse. Again, I won’t go TMI (Too Much Information), but let’s just say, when life gives you shit, it pours.

I felt like I was just going into the drain…

Then, I received two e-mails related to my YouTube channel. One required a lot of weighing and thinking; while the other one was a big

Quite a number of good things started rolling, and I hope there’s more. I DO thank the Almighty Being for surprising me with something I wanted – something good to make me go on. God bless the universe for finally conspiring to give me a bit of inspiration. It’s like a gentle nudge or perhaps a pat in the back.

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Hope you follow me on YouTube: MyRikaness
And on Instagram: @MyRikaness
On Twitter: @rixbajns
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Let’s be friends!
Spread happiness!
-rix★ϟ