One of the things that small v/bloggers wish to experience is to be invited to an event. Last month, I got an invitation from a friend, who’s a fellow blogger (and someone I can consider my senior when it comes to blogging), to go to a clinic’s anniversary with him. I could not contain my happiness when I read his message, so I excitedly filled out the registration form through the link that he sent me. My friend (by the way he’s MJ aka Vanity Room Philippines. FOLLOW him!) asked me to let him know if I did not receive any e-mail by the 25th. (Or some time around that.)
Came 25th, there was no e-mail. That was when I lost my confidence and got gobbled up by the thought that it was just one of those “HOPIA” moments. (“Hopia” is actually moon cake, but has been given a new meaning – hoping for nothing.)
Okay, let me just clarify why I was too pessimistic.
Prior to this, I got promised to be sent a package to try and review and even to be invited in a Filipino makeup company’s launch. (If you’re thinking these were one of those spam e-mails, you’re wrong. They were legit.) I felt so bad that I felt like I was played, because who the f*ck was I to be sent a package or to be invited at a launch? I had been hoping to be a part of something cool, but was never chosen. I signed up for blogger squad, I guess you could tell I wasn’t also chosen. (I knoooow, I sound like a total loser.)
But I guess it was all a part of being a small beauty v/blogger.
I can’t even make my channel grow.
Going back to the story…
Ayun na nga, I did not receive any e-mail and thought, ‘Oh well, I’m too shitty to be a part of it.’ That was when I saw that my most favorite blogger, Saab Magalona, was going to celebrate her 14th blog anniversary and 2nd meet and greet.
According to the tweet, the first 14 to sign up would get special gifts. I waited for 12 noon so I could secure a slot. But don’t think I did that for the gifts! I love Saab, and I did want to be a part of it. Besides, it was limited to a certain number of participants, so I really needed to register early.
After I think about two days, I received an e-mail from Mayee, confirming my registration. That was when I finally told MJ I did not receive any e-mail, and that I also could not go anymore. He replied and said they were just too busy to let me know my registration was acknowledged and I was going to be one of the bloggers to attend the event. I felt like I was the ends of my hair splitting into two.
I was so torn. I wanted both, but dang time made it way too complicated. September 30th came and I went to Cup Fiction (I was late, of course); good thing they had just barely started when I arrived. It was fun, I got to mingle with new people (barely any new friends, sadly). But at least I made new acquaintances. I also met Bettina, who was so thoughtful she gave a hand cream. (Thanks again, Bettina! For the nth time. Hehe!)
The participants were asked to bring a book if we wanted to join the book swap. Of course I wanted to, so I chose one of my faves, The Red Queen, which is now in Mayee’s possession. Both of us weren’t able to wrap our books, so we just decided to swap with each other. I’ll show you what I got in another post.
There were lots of fun games that required interaction with each other (which I needed because I wanted to get used to socializing hehe). Unfortunately, the promised gifts for the first 14 were not given, because they became the prizes to the game winners instead. (Another HOPIA moment?! That is, if I were one of the 14. Haha!)
I’ll just create a separate blog post for that.
Back to the story.
MJ texted me that day, if I could still go, and I told him if it ended early, I definitely would. Too bad, it didn’t and the traffic condition was so terrible I knew I couldn’t make it. I felt mortified and I was so bothered by the thought that I disappointed my friend. He gave me a wonderful chance to attend an event, as a BLOGGER, and I f*cked that up.
Up to this day, I regret being so pessimistic. But… It is actually a battle that’s still happening within me. The just-do-what-you-love part of me is battling with the this-is-not-for-you part of me.
I don’t know if I’ll still have the same opportunity; maybe I won’t since I already crushed my FIRST chance. Gladly, I got to talk to MJ in person during his own meet and greet, and explained everything to him.
Anyway, please do not misunderstand this post. I am not saying this because I want you to feel sorry for me. As I’ve mentioned in one of my previous posts, I want to be as transparent as possible to you. (Well, to a certain extent.) I also don’t want any of this to linger in my head and I felt like I had to pour it out. All is well. 🙂
As I always say…
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